he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
