Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize