someone get that fucking seahorse.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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