That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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