So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
