I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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