He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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