I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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