literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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