Your face is a jimmy john
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Come see our sink grown plant.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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