reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
