I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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