I showed him my bush... on skype.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
