You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
