two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
