He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
