I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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