If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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