No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize