I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
