So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
