There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
