Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
