For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize