Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
