My room smells like vodka and shame
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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