hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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