I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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