Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize