i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I could make wine with my vomit
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
After tacos, we're chasing women.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
