I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
