Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
