You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
