Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
