"it" just moved
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
