We're like a lot better than the average bears
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Farmville is her only friend.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize