just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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