four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
