How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
