how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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