and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
