i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
