You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
