this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
