isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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