Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
