Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
