my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
