You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
