this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
