meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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