you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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