I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
home. puking in laundry basket.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize