My room smells like vodka and shame
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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