there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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