i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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