This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
pop tarts are not kleenex
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize