kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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