I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
