____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
