i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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