Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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