So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
