How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
