they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Everything about him screamed your future.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Randomize
