Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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