we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
it glows. i had to have it.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
