last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize