I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
