Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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