FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
now i know why i became what i already was.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
