I wanna bring you to show and tell
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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